As evidenced by my waning blog posts of the last couple of years, my attention to doing anything creative was interrupted over needing to attend to family members who were sick/dying/in need in one form or another. In 400 days I lost my dear Brother, then my Mom, and my Dad. During the year before that I lost one of my closest friends and witnessed my brother shrivel up and suffer a very painful cancer. It is a lot to take in and while a certain amount of stress and heartbreak can lend to creativity, there becomes a point where any creative thoughts are quickly quashed. I would start to heal from one loss and begin to be able to create again and another would come along and end it, in a split second.
During all of this I spent countless hours on the road as all of my family lives at least 3 hours away. I have started to hate driving, as none of it was for pleasure anymore. Last month, after losing my Dad and making several of these trips to give him a proper sendoff, and move his belongings from his apartment, my road trips stopped. It still hasn't sunk in yet that I won't be on the road at all anymore, because the concept is so fresh. Even if I felt creative, the driving is so hard on my hands that it would be several more days before I could even think about beading or making beads after a road journey.
It is over now though. My Family is now gone, and it is true... it is just like they say, about the sands of time and all that. We are all in an hourlgass, and the sands are slowly (or not so slowly) slipping through the crack.
I feel sad every day, when reminded of how much I miss my loved ones. Some days I am comforted by fond memories and others I get overwhelmed, still. I do believe time heals all wounds and though I will always miss them, I am striving to get to those days when the memories bring smiles rather than grief. Oddly, I almost miss those long drives. I am slowly getting to the point where I don't have to hurry all the time, and the frenzied state I often found myself in over being pulled in so many directions is slowly but surely, leaving. The feeling of impending doom, and being afraid to answer the phone, or even look at it to see if I missed an important call, is one I will not miss in the least. Being one shoe drop from heartbreak is a hell of a way to live..and it hasn't quite sunk in yet, that this is no more. . .
I have a LOT of new beads to show. I did manage to make a few here and there when I could grab a chance, but the thought of taking pictures and editing and writing descriptions was so much more than I could handle, so I didn't.
I will start with a few of them today, and I will be back soon/and regular to post the rest. I am also going to be able to start loading my website & etsy stores and getting all of that back on track. I have a lot to catch up on!
Without further ado, here is a sample of what I have been up to.
Lake Superior Surfing Penguin
And I also made this pretty white seashell with orange flowers and put it together with vintage white glass beads, and orange coral, with loads of sterling and copper spacers...
That's it for now, I must save the rest for future posts, but meanwhile, the kiln is heating up and I am off to a day of bead making today! Have a wonderful day!