Surgery day,
I arrived at the hospital at
The next thing I knew they were finally knocking me out and you know the rest. That rotten old hip of mine was outa there, and the brand spankin new shiney one was put into place. I woke up after all, (whew!) and they took me to my room. Here, was a good thing where I had my mother looking out for me. They told her what room I would be going into and she went to look at it before they brought me there and saw that it was tiny and didn't even have a window and she went to the desk and said, nope, not that room, which was a good thing because even though the room I did get only had a view of brick and mortar, at least I could see the sky and the one or two days the sun did shine, it was great. It was a double room but they never put anyone in there with me for I had pre-ordered a private room. I cannot even imagine having anyone else in the same room with me at that point in time!
The rest of that day/night I was pretty much nodding in and out and pushing the pain controller button for all it was worth and had family company for a little while but that was pretty much it. All I wanted to do was sleep, I was so tired from being up all night the night before, I figured I'd just sleep and sleep my time away, but noooooooo.
It hurt waaaay to much for sleep to be a constant....
The rest of that day/night I was pretty much nodding in and out and pushing the pain controller button for all it was worth and had family company for a little while but that was pretty much it. All I wanted to do was sleep, I was so tired from being up all night the night before, I figured I'd just sleep and sleep my time away, but noooooooo.
It hurt waaaay to much for sleep to be a constant....
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Sunday march 7 2004
I'm finally sitting in a chair today. No speedy Gonzales around here, it took me about 15 minutes to get from the laying position in the bed to moving onto the chair, even though it was actually touching the bed.
The extra pain meds are what made this possible. Anyway, I was supposed to get some solid food today so I ordered some French toast & coffee. I hate hospital food but I didn't think anyone could screw up French Toast. Imagine my surprise when I took the cover off my plate and found cold scrambled eggs and toast. Thank God for the coffee & the Orange Juice or I would have really gotten bummed! Hmmmm...
Mid morning an RN came to change my dressing on my leg. Of course I wanted to look and see how long the wound was for I had heard that they're usually 6 inches or so, and some as less as 3 inches. Well......
The answer to the horrible amount of pain I'm in showed itself in the length of the wound. It's 11 inches long! I wonder no more why I hurt as bad as I do. . It's a good thing that the Dr. left me on the PCA (Demerol pain killer in a timed machine where I have some control over how often I can medicate myself as needed). I can push the button every 10 minutes and believe me, I don't wait 11 minutes!
Not long after the changing of the wound dressing, in comes the Physical Therapist. I had been faithfully practicing the excersises that I do while laying in bed, but since I hurt so bad yesterday when we tried to get me up, I was hopeful that today I'd be able to do it.
It wasn't one bit easy as I am weak as hell in the first place & the pain that goes with every movement about sends me through the roof, BUT...here I am, at this moment, sitting in a chair. There is hope for me yet! The PT told me that I could sit up for a half hour to an hour and when I want to get back into bed, to call for a nurse to help me.
The lunch cart arrives....
I ate a tiny amount to keep from starving but it was bland tasting goulash and some lemonade and coffee. Not what I'd call good, in fact I feel sick from eating what little I did though. The only good part was the custard and the fluids...
At one point, right at the 30 minute mark, a nurse walked into the room, so I was thinking she came to help put me back in the bed. I told her I was so enjoying sitting that I'd like to do it a little longer and that I'll let her know when I needed to get back in the bed so she could help me. And what do you think fell out of her mouth? I was told that it isn't her job to get me back into the bed and that I was mistaken that the PT told me that. "Maybe you mis-understood, and she told you someone from Occupational Therapy is going to come and help you to bed, because that's not my job", and she left the room.
Now I had been sitting for an hour and was getting very tired and feeling very weak and I needed to be in my bed so I pushed the ?call nurse' button. You're not gonna believe what happens next!
"can I help you?" I hear. It's nurse Ratchet from yesterday, I would know her voice anywhere! I tell her that I'm still sitting in the chair and would someone please come and help me back into the bed. Her reply? "It won't hurt you to sit in the chair"!!! I was much too weak to try to get back into the bed by myself, and I found myself just sitting there, and waiting and waiting for help, and before I knew it, another hour has passed by....
I call to the nurses station again and say, "will someone PLEASE come and help me get into my bed, I don't care who's job it is I NEED TO GET IN BED I AM FEELING FAINT!".
All of a sudden it sounded like a herd of elephants were running down the hall towards my room. 3 nurses show up, among them, ?Nurse Ratchett". It took all three of them to get me back into the bed and it was pure agony, and when I was finally safe in my bed I looked "Nurse Ratchett in the eye and I told her, with a look that could kill I'm sure, in my most threatening voice I could muster up..."so far everyone in this hospital has been very nice to me except YOU! Now, I NEVER WANT TO SEE YOU IN MY ROOM AGAIN, YOU ARE NOT TO COME NEAR ME , DO YOU UNDERSTAND?" The other nurses were still there and heard the whole thing, and, my demand was granted. I never saw a glimpse of her again.....
LATER THAT DAY.....
All I want right now is clean hair. I have fine thin hair that needs washing every single day and it's been 54 hours since I had my hair washed & I can't stand the feeling. I have a feeling that it's gonna be awhile yet before clean hair becomes a priority. I deal with this by wearing one of the assortment of bandannas that I had with me, thank God for small favors! Around
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I actually slept a full 5 hours last night. It was great. I do wish I could go home today as I'm sure I could get a hell of a lot more rest at home than I do in this place. Someone is always coming in to bother me. No, I'm not talking about my visiting family and friends, your visits have been everything to me, I cherish them all and thank you all so much. So who is it that comes and bothers me so much? The nurses bearing blood pressure machine, thermometer, oxygen checking device, etc...
Soon along comes another one bearing pain pills and the shot in my stomach, I really hate that one. Then sometimes both nurses are there and along come's the physical therapist who ended up leaving to come back later after the pain pills start to work, so I can try to go walking. They disconnected the Demerol machine this morning, and I wonder how the pain will be controlled with just the pills that are less strong than what I was getting BEFORE I had the surgery. I don't understand this at all*.
Writers note* This statement will later prove to be so true, and this lack of proper medication for my pain level combined with my high tolerance for this very medication will be result in some serious problems down the line, stay tuned....
Don't get me wrong, I know they all have a job to do and it's for my own good but that doesn't change the fact that I get sick of them coming in one after another like some never ending parade.
A week ago I had an MRI on my neck. During my pre-op physical, while answering all sorts of questions and having blood work and all, I told her about my arms and hands going numb a lot of the time, mostly when I'm in bed, so we thought it might be a positional thing. But, to err on the side of caution she sent me for an MRI of my neck, since it had been badly injured about 12 years ago. Today, one of my show stoppers was when that Dr. comes to my room to tell me the results of my MRI. Hold on to your hats people because the new is I've also got arthritis in my neck.
I'm bummed and I want to go home. I want to be left alone. I'm sick of this place and trying to act all chipper and happy and I'm tired of the professional botherer's. I'm done with this movie, stop the world, I wanna get off.
On the upside, when my surgeon came into my room he said it's healing nicely. I told him I want to go home today. He asked me if I could walk with the walker, OK, and I told him I could. Then he asked me if I did stairs yet, and I couldn't lie, I hadn't so I told him so. Basically I'm a day behind in Physical Therapy now, but he told me if I could do stairs I could go home.
Along comes the Physical Therapist who took me to where the stairs were, and he told me what to do but I totally misunderstood what he said and I stepped up onto the stair on my operated leg. Needless to say that hurt like hell and I didn't get to go home either.
OK, I understand, I can't go home till I am ready and if I can't go up 4 stairs I am not ready. Tomorrow's another day....
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March 9, Tuesday
My surgeon came soon after I awoke & we had a discussion about my lack of ability to do the walking part of my physical therapy, which as I told him before, is due to a lack of pain meds and pain control, but I also told him I was going to do what it would take to get out of here today if it killed me. He told me if I can manage to learn the stairs, that he would send me home today. I felt like I had a new lease on life just knowing I'd be going home!
The first thing I wanted to do after my morning pain meds kicked in was take a shower, it has been since Sunday, and I can't stand myself. In this hospital there are no showers in the rooms, instead there are communal shower stalls down the hallway. I don't like this idea too much, it seems unsanitary to me that so many people, ALL with surgical wounds, are showering in the same 2 shower stalls. To me, this was a germ room as far as I could figure. To make matters worse, later, I realize that my nurse forgot to cover my would with a bandage so I was in there with my 37 staples out in the open!
On my little walk to the shower room, I see some police officers around the nurses desk, and in my slow passing I hear that they're there because a patient reported a theft of $50.00. Man, that would suck. I didn't have that worry, I was in there penniless. I wasn't going anywhere I could spend money so I didn't bring any.
There's a plastic chair to sit in and a hand held shower, so the first thing that I ask my nurse, is if there had been anyone else's bare ass in that chair since it had been cleaned, and he said, "very possibly", so I asked him to please disinfect the chair before I sit. I hadn't even thought of that on Sunday night,,,,,. ISH!!!
Now, what's the first thing I see but my hair tie on the floor lying in the exact spot that I left it on Sunday night. Over to the left of that, a 2"X 2" piece of gauze that had green pus stain on it was laying on the floor in there also, and there was also a band-aid round that appeared to fall off a finger. As if this was not bad enough, there were also soap pieces around on the floor, here and there.
On the way out of the shower room, off the hallway there's a little cubbyhole that contains the cleaning supplies for the facility. I saw dried blood on a bucket and the cubby hole was filthy and dusty.
I hoped like hell I didn't get some sort of staff infection or something and I was so freaked out, that when I got back to my room, I took DRASTIC ACTION..........
There's a phone number on my wall with a number to the Patient Advocate, and I call it.
"I need you to come to my room ASAP", I said, it's an emergency!
About 5 minutes later, in walks a nurse who identifies herself as the ?Head Nurse', and asks what is the problem, can she help. She tells me that the Head Nurse is notified first, when someone calls the advocate, to see if they can recitify the complaint. I tell her, "I don't want to talk to YOU, I want the Patient Advocate, and I want her in my room NOW!". I can just see what would happen had I told her of my complaint. In two minutes flat she would go have someone clean it up, and the way I saw it, if I get some infection from being in there with my open wound, I would never be able to prove it.
In comes the Patient Advocate, just minutes later. I tell her about my hair tie and Sunday night, and I tell her about the pussy gauze pad and the bandaid and the soap pieces, the filthy cleaning supply room, and how there is no way that shower room could have been cleaned since Sunday, and there is no excuse for this. I also tell her that since 90% of the people in that ward were at least 60 to 70 years old and more, they probably might not be able to see the filth!
She was APPALED, and rightfully so! She thanked me for calling this to her attention and she was going to go right down there and she would be taking actions with the bigwigs over this because she agreed with me, there was no excuse. I hope she followed through. The problem though lies in the fact that we live in a time when too large a percentage of the population is unemployed, and the job descriptions of late, are re-done to spread around the duties of laid off employees. Well, at least now I have a witness if I get some awful infection, dammit!
To make matters worse, I do not get to go home today, since I'm a day behind on my therapy. I'm NOT having a good day, and I vow to get out of there tomorrow, one way or another, if I have to crawl....
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March 10, Wednesday....
I get sprung. Due to my lack of a railing on my stairs, My Dr. asked me if I thought a wheelchair would be beneficial, what with I'll be going through this again in a few months and I told him I thought it would be a great idea so he ordered me one, and signed my release. The wheelchair was delivered before I could get home, thank God again.
The day was snowy, windy and sleeting, and the wind was howling something fierce. My friend Carolyn came to pick me up from the hospital and drive me home, she has a van and that was what I needed. I owe you big time, Carolyn, for getting me out of there! Thank you!!!
My friend Valerie who I've been friends with since 1965 was to meet us at my house and between the two of them we thought it would be easy enough to roll me up the stairs. Boy, did I ever feel bad when it didn't go as easily as we thought, and Carolyn and Val really had to struggle to get me up the stairs to my deck. I was scared shitless too, of what would happen should I end up going flying down the stairs for some reason. Thank God it was only 4 or 5 stairs. I hope you ladies didn't hurt yourselves!
A little obstacle during my homecoming was Rosie, my rescue Doberman who I fondly address as "Rosebud". The plan was to ditch the chair for the walker to get inside, but the problem was, the walker was in the house and so was Rosebud. Rosebud is very protective of me at all times, and she appeared to be even more so now that she could sense I was hurt. It's a good thing that both Carolyn and Valerie are dog people, they soon convinced Rosebud that they were helping me, and she accepted them.
Just coming home was tiring, so it wasn't long before I was in my own bed and sawing logs with nobody coming in every 3 minutes to bother me, and the other thing that really got on my nerves was the PA system in that place. I mean, you have nothing to do but lay there and watch TV, and the speaker system for the TV would be interrupted on a regular basis, usually at the wrong time, by the paging system. By the time I got out of there it was really getting to me. God, I love my peace and quiet, I thank you for it.....
My peace and quiet idea is short lived however, when I learn of an impending visit tomorrow, my first day home, from someone from the County Health Agency. This news did not settle too good with me, here I thought I would finally get some rest, and my first full day home, I have to have this nurse come check on me.
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